Born To Make History?

Lately I've been struggling with the fact I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. It feels like everyone around me knows what they're doing and are out there making an impact on the world and accomplishing things. And then there's me. I've never really had a calling or a passion. Those closest to me have known what they've wanted to do for a long time; they've had dreams. I've bounced around trying to figure out where I fit in. With work, hobbies, even my education. I changed majors four times before deciding on literature. Now I have a degree I don't use.

I'm not saying that I'm sitting around wasting my life and feeling sorry for myself. I have a job I enjoy and spend time with friends and family. But I still feel like I need something more. Some way to make an impact on the world, even if it's small. One of the latest inspirations for my friend and I has been the song "History Maker" from the anime Yuri!!! On Ice. The line "We were born to make history" has resonated with me. I have to have some sort of purpose. I'm not expecting to change the entire world, but damn, I have to be able to do something. It's just hard when you're mediocre at everything and have no calling for anything in particular. And you also have amazing friends that kick ass.

For example: my best friend is a music teacher who has known she wanted to teach music since she was a kid. She's an accomplished violinist. She helped start a strings program. My other friend is majoring in meteorology which is a tough major and has a passion for it. She always has. Another friend is getting their PhD to become a college professor and has attended very good schools. I have another friend who is an advocate for those with disabilities and has a really awesome program going on social media. She also double majored in Spanish and German and is one of the nicest people I know. My younger cousin just moved into her own apartment and has a job at a really nice spa doing bookkeeping. She really likes bookkeeping and accounting. My other younger cousin is a single mother who is not only an awesome mom but has a beautiful daughter and a good job. She loves being a mom and she's good at it. I have acquaintances who travel, hike, are into theater, and do other awesome stuff. So it's hard when I'm sitting here with no real hobbies and a pretty unimpressive job (I'm training in dog grooming). The other day my best friend made the observation "I didn't think it took what much training to groom dogs". Which kind of stung even though she didn't mean it in a dismissive/unimpressed way. I'm working my ass off training to be a groomer. And I'm not even very good at it. But I like it. And I have nothing else to do.

So this long, and personal (sorry), rant is to say: how do you find your way? Your calling? How do you make your mark? It seems so easy for everyone around me and I'm adrift. Maybe if I spent more time doing things and less time have existential crises I might solve this.

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